I fall into a way without.
The way is very thin.
No questions and no need to doubt.
It is simple. It just begins

I haul the working side of me
As tall as it will go.
I try to guess how bad is bad
How to prepair and so,

The falling’s falling round about
I shut and rationalise.
I do as much as I’ve learned before
But the fall’s before my eyes.

There are problems.
I’ve not stopped as soon,
As well as I hoped.
Then again I’ve fallen further
Far further and I’ve coped.

The coping ones know little
Of what it does to me.
A heavy fall is grim and dark
And lonely as can be.

To turn to something
Would be good.
A refuge in my storm.
I’ve yet to find a place like this.
To this I would be drawn.

If there was yet a reason,
Then as yet it us unknown.
Yet to me that has to suffer it
It stays and yet has grown.

If I am talking from this page
To a fellow traveller on this road,
Then hold on to the empty space
And beat it till your old.
Smile when you are drowning.
Whistle when your thin.
Live on and beat the bugger bare
Until you can begin.

John 29th September 2003

Written in the aftermath of something I do not understand when at a time I wanted to go forward and was dragged back for no reason. The only enemy seems to be me. The woeful failure is mine. The peculiar behaviour is my resonsibility. Yet like catching the flu I am also helpless. Make sense of that my conciouse says. Pull away for the sake of those you know. Make and End. I just failed but hope that this nonsence will make and end of it’s own.
Nonsense is the best way to describe it all. 30th September 2003